ONE of Australia’s most beloved television personalities Paula Duncan has opened up about her battle with depression, her marriage breakdown and being rescued by her daughter after attempting to take her own life.
In a heart-wrenching interview with Ten’s Studio 10, the 62-year-old soap star spoke about the years she spent trying to hide her episodic depression, while constantly being in the spotlight. “Episodic depression is brought on by an episode, and so a lot of my life it doesn’t touch me, but at some stage in my life it can and I can fall down and as high and as happy as I can be, I can be that low,” she told entertainment reporter Craig Bennett.
“The triggers came about through feeling a sense of loss, disappointing someone else, and most of all, rejection. Rejection is something that I can’t handle.”
Duncan, well-known to Aussies as the face of the Spray N’ Wipe commercials for more than 20 years, spoke about falling head over heels with the love of her life, actor John Orcsik. The pair married in June 1982 after starring together in police drama Cop Shop.
The famous couple, described as the ‘Brad and Angelina’ of their time, were constantly splashed across the front pages of the magazines throughout the 80s. They had one child together, a daughter named Jessica, despite Duncan being told by doctors that she would never be able to have children.
“I was crying a lot, I didn’t want to go out, I felt ugly, I felt unclean,” the seven-time Logie winner said of her unstable emotional state after a traumatic birth.
“I felt very alone, very alone. And I just wanted him [John] to come and take care of me. I think, in fact, I wanted him to come and tell me what I was still beautiful.
“I felt forlorn and I felt unworthy and I felt rejected.”
The Strange Bedfellows star admitted that, to this day, she is riddled with guilt that she put her devotion for Orcsik before her only child.
“I was always smitten by John Orcsik and I think that my love for him totally overpowered my love for my baby.”
When their marriage started to crumble and the pair separated, Duncan was plunged into despair and tried to take her own life at the age of 43. Duncan’s daughter Jessica sat by her side throughout the interview and spoke about discovering her mother trying to commit suicide.
“My first instinct was to call 000, roll her on her side ... I think for her, knowing that I found her that was the hardest thing.”
Duncan’s life spiralled even further out of control when her second marriage to Steve Mason broke down while she was filming Strange Bedfellows and discovered via the Sunday newspaper he was cheating on her.
“Paul Hogan and Michael Caton, who were very beautiful to me, came up and said ‘I wouldn’t read the Sunday paper if I were you darl.’ And I said ‘why?’ and they said ‘well, your husband’s just admitted that he’s found his true love.’
“There were problems [in my second marriage], but I never believed that it would come into the newspaper, and it was.
“And I just couldn’t work at all, so they looked after me and they took me off set and I went into a very, very, very dark place.”
After a series of blackouts, Duncan found herself on antidepressants. struggling with grief. Two days later she got a knock on the door to tell her the Queen had just made her an Order of Australia, which changed everything.
Today, Paula Duncan has raised over $9 million for charity and says helping people was her salvation. She and news presenter Peter Overton are patrons of the Special Olympics program.
“I say to anyone who is really down or depressed, the first thing you should do before anything else is something for someone else. Through doing something for someone else, you will be appreciated and you will find an element of self-worthiness that you’ll never, ever feel.
“My life is definitely a roller-coaster.”
Watch the full interview on Studio 10 above.
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